The truth is...

The truth is... it's not easy being a christian. The last four year's since being back home (how has it been four years already?) It hasn't been smooth sailing and easy. I've done my best to be encouraging on here but I also don't want to forget that I promised to be real and raw. And the truth is... it's been hard. Life is hard. Being a christian is hard. Satan has seen me seek the Lord and he does not like it. His presence is so evident in the world right now. I'm not the only one fighting with the devil. And praise God if you are fighting the devil because that mean's you are not on his side! 

In all honesty, this road I'm on that's one of seeking God and living for Him, has been one bumpy road. I brought home with me a lot of baggage. I've cleaned a few suitcases out but there seems to always be another one to unpack and clean out. It wasn't like a switch just flipped and I was all better just by coming back home away from all the mess I'd made in Colorado. I think the mess actually wasn't anywhere but in me. Always packing it and never unpacking any. It didn't matter where I was, it was me. 

                                       

The truth is... I struggle with sin. Christian's struggle with sin. James 1:14–15 "But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death." I feel like I've painted a picture in my blogs that I've been magically fixed and everything is so much better now than before. It is before then before because I do now strive to please God but I want it to be known I still struggle just like everyone else. Regrettably though, there have been times that I've lived like I knew no God. I have fallen back into old way's a few time's but the conviction has also been real after it. It's a feeling of death. When I have fallen back into old ways, I disappoint God, myself, my boyfriend, my family, my friends, my mentor's. Life is no longer just about me. 

The truth is... I want so badly to help other's but have learned that it is me who has needed help before I am able to help other's. I want to rescue other's from the pain that I can relate to. I want to fly before I've even learned to run. I'm eager to use the baggage I carry and unpack to show other's how to unpack their bags. In God's timing I will. Until then I am learning patience and what forgiveness is. Forgiveness has been a huge learning curve. I've received an abundant amount of forgiveness, I mean abundant. Thank you, Jesus! 

The truth is... I want to be bold in my faith but lack in doing so. The transition of the life I was living just four year's ago for many year's has been a challenging transition of learning what is for God and what is not. The bible is my guide and there is a lot to unpack!! I'm thankful for the people God has blessed me with in my life and the mentorship's he's provided. I'm thankful for the message's Christ works through in my pastor on Sunday's, the accountability from Godly friendship's, my Godly boyfriend who has never given up on me, my family who has also never given up on me, and so on. Without all these blessing's, I wouldn't have learned what I've learned so far. 

So the truth is... I still struggle, but I'm never alone. 

John 16:33

 “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”