RealEyes

. That's just the way it is.  You say your apologizes to who you think you should to (i'm sure there will be more), do your best each day to be better than the last (most of the time), think before acting or speaking (I try), make better choices (doesn't always happen), etc. And I'll never be perfect. But I'm trying. And there's going to be those select few that define you of your past and what you did. They will glare at you in disgust defining your every being of what choices you once made. They'll curl their lip and look at you like your scum. There will be those people. Thank God I've learned not to let people define my worth. I pray those people will forgive me, just as my Lord forgives me. And when someone needs my forgiveness, I pray to God I'll be able to do the same because I've been given more grace than I should have had to ask for. I've made the same mistakes more than once. I've let people down more than once. And here I am,

Rewind time just a bit to make sense of a few things: January 21, 2019 I had a snowboard accident (thank the Lord I had a helmet on) thought it was a concussion, went to an urgent care where they did a CT which came back fine and told me if I proceeded to throw up and the headache wouldn’t go away, to come back. Three days later, January 24 is when I ended up in the mental hospital. Out of the mental hospital January 27 and into jail February 4. In the jail was where the deathly pain began.   So to the hospital my parents took me and there the doc didn’t feel it was necessary to get another CT on my head since a few days prior the CT came back fine. He gave me some crackers, water and ibuprofen and sent me on my way. The headache wouldn’t go away. So I got used to it for two months but decided to make an appointment to get a MRI. “Don’t freak out.” My doc told me. I looked to my mom with wide eyes. Well when someone tells you not to freak out, what do you do? Star