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Mama

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Becoming a mama has been the greatest joy (and challenge) I’ve experienced yet. I wasn’t sure if I was meant to become a mom. It wasn't something I really ever longed for. I knew I loved my family and probably desired to have one of my own but couldn’t really grasp the idea of having a baby. I’ve been pretty immature my whole life 😬 so the thought of having a baby just didn’t appeal to me. Well, I’m thankful for God’s provision because boy, would I have missed out on the greatest gift of being a mom. I’m truly grateful God gifted me with my sweet boy, Josiah. He brings so much joy to many peoples lives and he has changed my life and the way I look at life for the better.  I’ve heard or read about how some moms “lose their self” after having kids. Fortunately for me, it’s been the opposite. When I reflect on my life before Josiah was here, I really struggled with what God specifically wanted for my life. Since having him, I find a lot of purpose and see I’m discovering now more tha...
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Sobriety and Pregnancy :)

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I have been grateful for my sobriety throughout this whole time but I would like to share how super, super, super grateful I am for my sobriety now that I'm PREGNANT!!! I imagine how much different it would be getting pregnant during my drinking day's and how miserable that would've made the pregnancy experience because I'd be so focused the whole time on not drinking instead of enjoying being pregnant. I'm sure people have done it. I'm sure it's been a good incentive for some to get sober because they found out they were pregnant, and that's great! I'm just personally grateful it's gone in this order for me. It's just another praise to God and gift to share with you all! Look at how many gifts there are in being sober.  Some may wonder when they read about sobriety posts, "why do they talk about this so much? This is something I do almost every day, not drink. Why can't they?" That's the difference between an addicted, sick...
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It's been a bad day

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Today has been a really bad day. I am an emotional person and the longer I'm sober the more aware I am of my emotions and how many of them I have. While I was on my walk today, I was praising God because I thought of the big book and how it says something along the lines of, "even on the worst day's now sober, I wouldn't go back to the best day's of my drinking day's". I felt that today. Even though I'm having a really bad emotional day, I was thanking God for being sober and I wouldn't trade it.  Even though my head is buzzing with noise, my heart heavy with sadness, my body restless and angst, my soul longing for warmth (all circumstantial reasonings; not an absence of Jesus; I'm still human), I am so thankful I don't desire to drink. It's surreal that this is my reality. That I don't have to drink away my uncomfortable feeling's anymore. As much as my ego would like to take credit for it and say, "yay! I'M doing sooo...
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Powerlessness

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Powerlessness. My life had become unmanageable. I was powerless over alcohol the first time I ever had it. I was such a slob. Yet I continued to ingest it for a decade, not coming to realize I was powerless over it even after I was freshly sober. I admitted I was powerless over it but I didn't fully grasp it for a couple months of being sober. I fully believe and know now that I am powerless over alcohol. I cannot and I do not have to have alcohol. I am free without it! Like alcohol, I am also powerless over other things in life. Like people. I am powerless over what they do to me. I. cannot control what someone does to me or says to me. I do have power of how I respond. This is freedom. The freedom to choose how to handle a situation. Just like I had the freedom to choose whether I keep on down the road of killing myself or the possibility of someone else by drinking. I struggled to let go of drinking. I've struggled to respond well to being hurt by someone. "Evening, mor...
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8 months and 23 day's

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I post about my sobriety not for attention or self-praise but for awareness of the reality of it and hopefully to be of help to anyone wanting to get help but may be afraid to. I want to show the benefits and freedom from choosing to stay sober. There are times when it can get hard, that's the reality and sickness of it, but I'm thankful to God I have stayed sober. Today makes 8 months and 23 day's alcohol free for me and it is only by the grace of God. It is only by the grace of God do I experience freedom, joy, contentment, and peace. I have a new perspective on life and it is one I have to consciously and intentionally choose if I want to continue to have freedom, joy, contentment, and peace. I am so thankful for God's blessings he's graciously giving me each day. No matter what happens in life, because trials inevitably happen, there is always something to be grateful for. Get up each morning and decide what you are thankful for and watch your daily perspective ...
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60 day's

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I... Was on my hands and knees crying out to God Accepted the fact that I needed help Reached out for help Got myself a sponsor Quit being in denial about my addiction  Attend AA meeting's Work the steps Praise God Struggle some day's Get up and try again Cry some other day's Get up and try again❤ And in 60 day's... I haven't picked up the bottle. "God,  Grant me the serenity to accept the thing's I cannot change, the courage to change the thing's I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."
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My deceiving best friend

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 Oh, alcohol, my dear friend A friend I had to let go of My best friend of all friends Should have been long ago You were always there When I needed an escape You removed all my fears But left me with many, many tears You were "cunning, baffling and powerful"! You sucked me in Sucked me all dry You're the best friend I didn't let get away Now I'm glad you're gone Gone out of my life The past is where You will stay My present has No room for you Goodbye my dear friend I'll tell all the others About your cunning, baffling, and powerfulness. How you deceive, tell lies You're not a best friend You were an experience Waiting to take me to hell.  
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